As I was reflecting on the idea of the man and woman in a serious relationship shouting at one another, or making remarks purposely meant to hurt one another, it occurred to me that this type of behavior is totally incompatible with “one flesh.” When a man and woman marry in a Christian relationship, they become truly one flesh under the headship of Christ.
If we take this concept seriously, and as God meant it to be, then it is clear that any time we hurt our sweetheart, we are truly hurting ourselves. My husband and I are each half of a whole. We are connected, through Christ, literally. Therefore, if I was to lash out at him in anger (much less physically lash out – a totally foreign concept to me), I would literally be hurting my own self. Now, who in their right mind would choose to do that?
If a Christian couple argues and fights, then I would have to question whether they were truly one flesh. That would be an indication to me that they had some serious work to do on their marriage and their relationship, both with Christ and with each other.
One of the reasons I choose to not “hang out” much of the time with most of my women friends (including some of the Christian ones) is that I find it very difficult to enjoy the company of people who spend far too much time criticizing and tearing down the person who is supposed to be the other half of their whole. I have been around women who scarcely have anything to say that does not involve complaining about their husbands.
Please examine your attitude toward your husband or wife; and if your conversations not only about him or her, but with him or her are characterized by criticism and discontent, I would urge you to pray for a heart of compassion and kindness and true love toward the other half of your whole – sooner than later! It is not God’s plan for us to tear apart His workmanship. Love your everyday valentine with your whole heart!